before room 101

How does 2+2=5? Clearly, 2+2 equals 4. For some reason, it is okay to doublethink that it can also equal 5. I do not see how it is possible for people to want to believe this. But, somehow, they do. And it is only because they were forced to—just like I am right now.

What O’Brien is doing to me is too painful for me to handle. I’m surprised I have even survived until now. I am not even sure how long has it been. I have been kept in this strange room for so long. Has it been days, weeks or months? Not only that, after this room, I am being taken to another room. Strangely, it has been named room 101. Who knows what kind of indescribable things lie waiting for me in that room? Oh, wait—Big Brother does. Big Brother knows all.

If Big Brother knows all, then he must also know where Julia is. I wonder how she has been handled. I wonder if I should have ever gotten involved with her in the first place. I do not know how to feel about anything or anyone anymore.

All I know now is that I must brace myself for what lies ahead.