Julia

October 08, 1984

Dear Diary,

I've had many relations with the Party members. Though I am still trying to look for more. I do not feel guilty at all going against the rules. I'm such a rebel. My feelings for Winston has been unbearable. Maybe he is the one. I do not know. After having sex with him changed things between us. It just seems to be right. 

Anyways, I just hope we will not get caught with our actions. Why does our government have to be like this? It seems like we would do anything together to maintain our love. If anything I would die with him if we ever get caught by the Thought Police. Being rebels together and facing the hardship sucks. Writing this is already one bad thing. I hate the government.

This comes to the conclusion that I can’t help stop myself thinking about Winston. What if we have kids…? It’s a joke how he has a wife and kids. I am just so confused. Things will get better I hope. At least now we can take things into consideration.

Well I got to go now. I’m about to head to work. Winston and I may meet up later. I cannot wait to see him later. 

Julia