Room 101:My last post

What's in Room 101? I think today my question shall be answered... And not soon enough! It feels like an eternity since the last time I saw Julia. I am not sure what has happened to her, but I find myself starting to doubt our promise. Our promise of not betraying the other. So far, I haven't succumbed to that action. But that's only so far. Maybe She's not even alive anymore. Either "vaporized" and non-existent (at least to the Party) or blasted to smithereens,like that person whose arm I kicked into the gutter, or she had given in to the Party's demands. Still wanting to believe none of these, I think about our promise.
Will our love exist, even if the Party erases all existing evidence of us? Of course, I say immediately. But, I hesitate afterwards as if to say.. But that is not what the Party wishes. If O'Brien says 2+2 is 5, surely he is wrong and I am right? If that's the case, I feel like the only person in the world that knows what is right. Thus, if everyone thinks I am wrong.. Am i really right? I can't abandon my belief in my memories. That's all I have anymore. I was taught that 4 is the equality of 2 and 2. Then, why I am I wrong?
I have the questions to ask. I need answers. I double-need JULIA. Will I get my answers? I guess I'll find out soon.