I've tried. I've tried everything i can to believe that the party is right and most importantly love big brother. O'Brien has punished me in all ways possible, but I still can't believe. He's tried to make me believe that 2+2=5 when truthfully I know that it equals 4. I force myself to believe that " Freedom is Slavery" and "God is power" because if I think otherwise then I might as well be dead. I can't say that any other thoughts besides the ones I'm supposed to have would cost me my life because then I'd be lying. Once, O'Brien notices that emotionally I have not improved then he'll kill me. Kill me how?? I'm not sure but I have a feeling it will be a slow painful death. However I may be killed, I can only blame myself in the end.
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