Goodbye.

I don't know what to expect. I actually don't know what to believe in anymore. One day I was against the Party, now I'm for the Party. 2 + 2 isn't really 5, but I have to believe that. Everything has been a lie. Everyone isn't who they seemed to be. I was fooled. I thought I could trust O'brien. I thought that this rebellion was going to happen. I had many dreams to let society take over and defeat Big Brother. I don't know if that's ever going to happen. I don't want to be just another brainwashed follower of Big Brother. I refuse to let them take away my true identity. But, I have to. I have to follow Big Brother. I have to be a follower. But no, I can't. This is not what I believe in. I can't believe in this foolish things.

I don't know how long I have been here. It seems like forever. I only hope that Room 101 won't be as bad as it seems. O'brien insists that I know what I'm taking myself into. I can't be afraid. I have to face everything like a man. I must stand firm and accept whatever is behind that door.

I hope this isn't my last post.

Winston