The Note

September 8th, 1984

Dear Diary,

The Party only talks about goodness and purity. Why is the Party taking control of our minds? I hate it, but I will not let the Party be suspicious. The lectures are brainwashing, but I will not let it get to me. I will take part in pleasure. I want love and desire!

A few days ago, I followed Winston around and gave him the "I love you" note. There's something about him; I can tell that he's like me. We hate the Party. I pretended to fall and slipped the note in his hand, so the Thought Police wouldn't be suspicious.

I met Winston in the country, away from the telescreens and microphones. He became aroused when we moved towards the woods. Winston asked if I've ever done anything like this before, and I told him the truth. His response was very shocking. He was thrilled that I've been with tons of men. I just enjoy partying, but he's interested in something else.

Today, I told him about my first time with an Inner Party official. 'Til this day, I still don't understand why I desired such an old man.. It annoys me; the Party makes us sexually frustrated, yet they themselves can commit crimes.

Julia