How long have I been tortured? Weeks? Months? At first, the torturing was horrible. I refused to believe that 2 + 2 = 5, but now I have to believe it. O'Brien forced me to look into the mirror and I looked like a dying skeleton. It is all his fault. I thought that he could be trusted, and I regret it. However, I am in a better room now. I gained weight and I am stronger, so the torture is not as bad. Voluntarily, I am trying to make myself be stupid and listen to O'Brien, but I can't. I keep rewriting the Party's slogans, but I hate the Party too much and I will never betray Julia.
Last night, I had a nightmare and screamed Julia's name. The guards heard me and I had to face O'Brien. I told him that I hated Big Brother and now he is taking me to Room 101. When I first woke up in the Ministry of Love, I saw Ampleforth being brought into that room. I have no idea what's in Room 101, but O'Brien insists that I do know. I really hope it isn't my worst phobia, rats...
I will not let Room 101 get to me. I will forever hate the Party. I will die hating Big Brother.
Winston
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